Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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