May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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