Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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