If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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