Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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