you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
