dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
