After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
