some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
