Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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