This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
