you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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