we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
