i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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