they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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