she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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