Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
