Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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