You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
