Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
