hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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