think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
