the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
