hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
