i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Buhtt sex?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
