so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
