so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
