I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
