No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
