Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
