I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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