Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
