Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
