i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
