You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
