i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this just has baby written all over it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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