What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
