I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
