I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
