remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
