she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
