I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
