The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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