there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
