she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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