My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
