her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
