If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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