so explain again why im purple
no
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I want her autograph on my taint
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
