Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
