Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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