so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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